Why the Phrase “Snitches Get Stitches” Is So Dangerous

Most of us have heard the phrase “snitches get stitches.” It is often said casually, joked about, or passed down as a rule of loyalty.

But pause for a moment and really think about what that phrase teaches children.

It teaches silence over safety. Fear over responsibility. Compliance over compassion.

What many people fail to understand is that reporting harm is not snitching. When someone speaks up to protect themselves or others, they are seeking safety, not punishment.

The Reality of Bystanders and Bullying

Research consistently shows that bystander intervention is far less common than it should be. Many students witness bullying, harassment, or harmful behavior and choose not to report it or intervene.

Schools and organizations work hard to encourage students to speak up, yet the fear of being labeled a “snitch” often outweighs the desire to do what is right.

This culture of silence does not exist by accident. It is rein...

One of the most common and harmful ways children hurt one another is through gossip.

Gossip is a form of social bullying. It can happen in person or online, and it often flies under the radar because it is disguised as conversation or curiosity.

Social bullying damages reputations and relationships. It can look like spreading rumors, encouraging others to exclude someone, sabotaging friendships, or quietly turning peers against a child.

Why Teaching Kids Not to Be an Audience Matters

One of the most effective ways to stop gossip is to stop giving it an audience.

When kids refuse to listen, gossip loses its power. The person initiating it often feels uncomfortable or embarrassed, and the behavior tends to stop.

This matters because children are often more influenced by peer reactions than by adult rules or lectures.

When peers show disinterest in gossip, it sends a strong message that this behavior is not valued.

Why Kids Gossip

Understanding why kids gossip helps adults respon...

What did you believe about bullies when you were growing up?

I will be honest. Before I began researching bullying deeply, I believed that kids who bullied others were simply not being parented well.

I know. Judgy.

I assumed they were mirroring behavior they saw at home or copying an older sibling or family member. I thought bullies were just “bad kids” who enjoyed making others miserable.

And no one ever challenged that belief.
No one ever talked to me about bullying or the kids behind the behavior.

What I have learned since then completely changed my perspective.

Bullies Are Still Kids Who Are Learning

The truth is this.
Children who bully are still children.

They are not defined by their behavior. They are often kids who have not yet learned how to manage big emotions, navigate stress, or cope with hurt in healthy ways.

That does not excuse the behavior.
But it does change how we respond to it.

Not all children bully for the same reasons. Some act out because they are overwhe...

A lady recently asked me if I could help her find a lawyer to help her niece with a bullying situation at school. 

You see, her niece was physically bullied and has been at home this week due to fear of lack of safety because the school hasn’t responded to the bullying report at all!

So, I don’t blame this high school child. If a school has allowed over two weeks to pass and not one person has responded, then I too wouldn’t go back to school without knowing they would do their best to keep me safe. 

Did you know that legally, the number one mission for all schools in the U.S. is to keep kids safe while on campus?

Yup.

Providing academic education comes second. 

So, back to this lady’s question. She wanted to know what type of lawyer should she look for and how would she be able to find a good one?

Fortunately, I’ve done my homework regarding this question and had the privilege of interviewing some lawyers who have defended children against bullying and other types of injuries or...

Would you put your child in a bubble if you could? It’s something all parents have thought of at one point or another, right?

Honestly, I’m not one of those parents who would put their kids in a bubble. I understand the need for them to go through some life lessons, but to a certain point. 

One of the things that I have focused on is showing kids empathy because as we have all witnesses, people without empathy are more likely to intentionally hurt others. 

Then, there’s the importance of learning to deal with one’s own emotions. When children do not know how to release what they’re feeling, eventually those emotions come out in certain ways. 

Sometimes pain and frustration come out in the form of anger. When this happens to children, even they don’t often understand why they’re feeling.

At times, their emotions are taken out in the form of anger, mischief, or bullying. No parent wants to find out that their kid is the one causing others so much pain.

If you google the word “bully...

Former Foster Youth Shares Personal Journey From Pain to Power

Imagine being so scared to go to a school that you hide in the library so that you can be invisible.

Imagine being called names such as “blackie” and “ugly”, while walking to class by a group of your peers. Imagine what your life would be like if you are jumped, hit, chased and chronically teased at school, and no one comes to your rescue

Sadly, thousands of children in the Inland Empire, especially foster youth, are afraid to go to school because they are violently and verbally attacked.

I was one of those children. A quiet, shy kid who felt unloved and unworthy due to the trauma I faced, I was often the target of unwanted harassment. I wore the same clothes or hand-me-downs that were either too big or too small for me.

My hair was unkempt because no one invested money to care for my hair. My clothing, dark skin, and coarse hair made me a target for daily bullying for a decade that nearly cost me my life. 

It d...