We’re living in a time when bullying, discrimination, and dehumanization are on full display—in schools, online, and even in positions of power. But what scares me more than the actions of bullies... is the silence of bystanders.

Recently, I heard a story that stopped me in my tracks. It’s a powerful example of how the bystander effect can condition us to prioritize self-preservation over doing the right thing.

A woman shared her experience from when she was sixteen years old. She walked into her classroom to find the desks arranged in a circle, and in the center sat a fishbowl on a desk. Her teacher gave strict instructions:

“Sit down. Shut up. You are not allowed to move or speak. Anyone who does will immediately fail this class.”

Then, he pulled the fish out of the bowl and placed it on the desk.
And walked out.

All the students were frozen in fear—paralyzed by the threat of failure. They watched as the fish gasped for air. No one wanted to fail. But no one wanted to let the fi...