The One Skill Nobody Taught Us (That Changes Everything)

Most of us grew up learning how to speak. How to argue. How to present. How to debate.

Nobody taught us how to listen.

And that gap, quiet as it is, costs us more than we realize. In our relationships. In our parenting. In our workplaces. In the moments that matter most.

I sat down recently with Deb Porter, founder of Hold Hearing Out Life Drama and a professional listener, and what she shared stayed with me long after we stopped recording.

Listening Is a Profession. And There's a Reason for That.

Deb did not set out to become a professional listener. She studied divinity, worked at a funeral home, and one ordinary afternoon while folding towels, a thought landed: what if it's just about listening?

She built an entire business from that moment.

Not therapy. Not coaching. Listening.

The distinction matters. There is a massive group of people, and you probably know some of them, who are not in crisis. They are not looking ...

In 2024, I had a conversation with a friend that completely shifted how I communicate, not just with my kids, but with everyone.

We were talking about why so many people struggle to compromise, collaborate, or even get along. His answer was simple, and honestly, uncomfortable in the best way.

He explained that he was taught as a child to be very intentional with his words. The goal was to eliminate miscommunication as much as possible. The problem is that most people are never taught this skill. Some of us learn it later in life out of necessity, and many never learn it at all.

He pointed out something that stuck with me. Most people use words that do not actually express what they mean.

Shortly after that conversation, I heard a life coach say something that connected all the dots for me. People often listen to debate, not to understand.

That sentence alone explained years of communication challenges I had experienced in personal and professional relationships.

Once I became awa...