In 2024, I had a conversation with a friend that completely shifted how I communicate, not just with my kids, but with everyone.

We were talking about why so many people struggle to compromise, collaborate, or even get along. His answer was simple, and honestly, uncomfortable in the best way.

He explained that he was taught as a child to be very intentional with his words. The goal was to eliminate miscommunication as much as possible. The problem is that most people are never taught this skill. Some of us learn it later in life out of necessity, and many never learn it at all.

He pointed out something that stuck with me. Most people use words that do not actually express what they mean.

Shortly after that conversation, I heard a life coach say something that connected all the dots for me. People often listen to debate, not to understand.

That sentence alone explained years of communication challenges I had experienced in personal and professional relationships.

Once I became awa...

What did you believe about bullies when you were growing up?

I will be honest. Before I began researching bullying deeply, I believed that kids who bullied others were simply not being parented well.

I know. Judgy.

I assumed they were mirroring behavior they saw at home or copying an older sibling or family member. I thought bullies were just “bad kids” who enjoyed making others miserable.

And no one ever challenged that belief.
No one ever talked to me about bullying or the kids behind the behavior.

What I have learned since then completely changed my perspective.

Bullies Are Still Kids Who Are Learning

The truth is this.
Children who bully are still children.

They are not defined by their behavior. They are often kids who have not yet learned how to manage big emotions, navigate stress, or cope with hurt in healthy ways.

That does not excuse the behavior.
But it does change how we respond to it.

Not all children bully for the same reasons. Some act out because they are overwhe...