Choosing Distance From Toxic Family Relationships During the Holidays

There is a quiet truth many people carry, especially during the holidays. Not everyone gathers with every branch of their family tree. Not everyone feels safe or loved in the spaces that are supposed to feel like home. And not everyone is willing to keep pretending.

Years ago, I made a decision that most people avoid at all costs. I chose to cut off certain family members. It was not impulsive. It was not based on pressure. It was not done out of anger. It was a decision that took years of wrestling, grieving, analyzing patterns, and asking myself what kind of life I wanted to create for my own children.

Whenever someone learns that I do not speak to my mother, the reaction is almost immediate. People apologize as if I am broken. They ask whether I have tried to make amends. They assume I have not forgiven her. They suggest that forgiveness is the missing key to my happiness, as if I am carrying unresolved resentm...

We Need to Talk About Bruno: The Truth About Family Denial and the “Black Sheep”

Have you seen Disney’s Encanto? I’ve watched it at least five times. It’s more than just catchy songs and colorful visuals—it’s a powerful commentary on family dynamics, especially toxic loyalty, and the person every family tries to silence: the “Bruno.”

Let’s be honest—we all have a Bruno.

Bruno represents the family member who dares to tell the truth. The one who sees dysfunction and speaks up, even when it’s uncomfortable. Bruno is the sibling who calls out generational trauma. The coworker who warns leadership about a toxic work culture. The cousin who begs the family to stop ignoring abuse, addiction, or dangerous patterns.

And what happens when Bruno speaks up?
He’s called dramatic. Disloyal. Bitter. “Too much.”
Instead of being supported, he’s blamed—not because he’s wrong, but because he broke the silence.

Why We Demonize the Truth-Tellers

According to Psychology Today, denial is a defense mech...