When we talk about bullying, we tend to focus on the behavior itself. The name-calling. The exclusion. The aggression on the playground or in the group chat. But if we really want to understand where bullying comes from, and how to stop it at the root, we have to be willing to look a little deeper.

Attachment theory gives us a powerful lens for doing exactly that.

Bev Mitelman, certified relationship and attachment trauma practitioner and founder of Securely Loved, joined the DaliTalks Podcast this week to walk us through the four attachment styles and how they form in early childhood. And what she shared has everything to do with why some kids become bullies, why others become targets, and why so many children who struggle socially are not acting out of malice but out of fear.

The connection between attachment and behavior at school

A child who grows up with an anxious attachment style has a core wound rooted in the fear of abandonment. They learned early that love and attention a...