Choosing Distance From Toxic Family Relationships During the Holidays

There is a quiet truth many people carry, especially during the holidays. Not everyone gathers with every branch of their family tree. Not everyone feels safe or loved in the spaces that are supposed to feel like home. And not everyone is willing to keep pretending.

Years ago, I made a decision that most people avoid at all costs. I chose to cut off certain family members. It was not impulsive. It was not based on pressure. It was not done out of anger. It was a decision that took years of wrestling, grieving, analyzing patterns, and asking myself what kind of life I wanted to create for my own children.

Whenever someone learns that I do not speak to my mother, the reaction is almost immediate. People apologize as if I am broken. They ask whether I have tried to make amends. They assume I have not forgiven her. They suggest that forgiveness is the missing key to my happiness, as if I am carrying unresolved resentm...