Years ago, I read a book that changed the way I understood leadership.

It was Zig Ziglar's "See You At The Top." Until that book, I didn't know there were employers out there who actually cared about the people who worked for them, not just what they produced. He described asking his team about their lives, taking their personal challenges into account, and still finding a way to get the work done together. It was the first time I saw empathy described as a leadership strength instead of a soft skill to tolerate.

Around that same period in my life, I had become a Sergeant in the United States Army. I hated how some of my own leaders treated us. One of the things we dreaded most was the monthly counseling sessions. They were almost always negative. They never did a single thing for morale, and most of us walked away from them feeling smaller, not better.

So when I became the one leading, I made a decision. I was going to flip that pattern.

I made sure my team heard what they were do...