Choosing Distance From Toxic Family Relationships During the Holidays

There is a quiet truth many people carry, especially during the holidays. Not everyone gathers with every branch of their family tree. Not everyone feels safe or loved in the spaces that are supposed to feel like home. And not everyone is willing to keep pretending.

Years ago, I made a decision that most people avoid at all costs. I chose to cut off certain family members. It was not impulsive. It was not based on pressure. It was not done out of anger. It was a decision that took years of wrestling, grieving, analyzing patterns, and asking myself what kind of life I wanted to create for my own children.

Whenever someone learns that I do not speak to my mother, the reaction is almost immediate. People apologize as if I am broken. They ask whether I have tried to make amends. They assume I have not forgiven her. They suggest that forgiveness is the missing key to my happiness, as if I am carrying unresolved resentm...

How are you really doing now that the school season is back?

As routines pick up, pressure increases for kids socially, emotionally, and academically. Many parents are noticing something different about this generation of children.

They spend more time indoors.
They are constantly on screens.
They are more withdrawn, anxious, and overwhelmed.

Recently, I asked my teens to spend just one hour outside without devices. I expected a walk, maybe a little boredom-induced creativity.

Instead, they sat by the front door the entire hour.

That moment was funny, but also eye-opening.

The Issue: Kids Are Struggling Quietly

Research shows that even 15 minutes outside in nature can reduce anxiety, depression, and emotional overload. Yet many kids spend most of their time isolated in their bedrooms, absorbing content that overstimulates their nervous systems and limits real connection.

When mental health needs go unnoticed, children may:

• Withdraw socially
• Struggle with confidence
• Experienc...

Have you ever had a huge aha moment as an adult about something that you went through as a kid? You might have thought it was nothing, but as you reflected on it, you realized it was the cause of something a lot bigger?

This happened to me a few years ago. My family has always made fun of me for having been that teen that slept ALL THE TIME! 

THE BACK STORY

My father had finally left us right after I had turned 14. It was a wonderful feeling to no longer wake up to him physically abusing my mother or walking into the house from school to see she’d been beaten again. 

Everyone recalls one particular summer when I was 15-years-old when we lived in government housing after my father left.

My mom had to make ends meet and she had gotten so lucky to have received a government home for us because the waiting list was very long. 

Since she had six kids, they made her case a special priority. I will never forget that change in our lives. She would stay in her bedroom a lot. She would ...

Surviving a lifetime of being bullied!

As a child, I was bullied, and it was a long process for me to recover. I was teased, made fun of and told that I would never be anything. This was by my family from birth throughout my early adult years. I also endured years of being jumped on and beat-up by my cousin for no reason.

This resulted in me being shy and my self-esteem was very low. I was also teased in school because I was skinny, and my teeth were crooked. As a result, I walked with my head down and I never smiled. There were so many days that I would come home and just cry.

I was doing poorly in school because I was suffering from depression. I vividly remember one day I was in health class and a classmate told me that I was skinny enough to hula hoop in a fruit-loop. I was called grandma and told me that I was homely! which hurt a lot. That was just a tiny bit of the things that were said to me.

Unfortunately, I was struggling with being bullied. I stayed faithful and knew tha...